This is the second sermon that I will be preaching at the youth camp. I appreciate the feedback from the last one. I always appreciate feedback because it helps me modify the message so that it will be better understood and easily applicable. This lesson will address the problem of flirting, a major problem among teens and even adults in our day and time. Many people have ruined their lives because of immorality and it all began with a simple flirt. God wants us to avoid immorality at all costs and that is why He warns of the dangers of flirting.
It is interesting that the Bible mostly addresses women in the area of flirting. There is a section for men, which is very important, but mostly men are warned to avoid the woman who is a flirt. I would like to address both aspects.
I. Flirting is bad for both men and women. Solomon speaks a lot about the dangers of flirting as a woman as well as what kind of woman flirts. Let’s look at 3 passages. The first is from the Song of Solomon 8:4. Here is the warning.
Flirting arouses love before it is time. Flirting is great when it is done between a husband and wife but when unmarried people flirt, they awaken love before its time because they start a fire that they cannot righteously “extinguish” through sexual intercourse because they are not married.
Moreover, the LORD said, “Because the daughters of Zion are proud And walk with heads held high and seductive eyes, And go along with mincing steps And tinkle the bangles on their feet, Therefore the Lord will afflict the scalp of the daughters of Zion with scabs, And the LORD will make their foreheads bare.” (Isaiah 3:16-17)
The key phrase in this passage is “seductive eyes” which is used to describe the process of flirting. From this passage, we see that flirting and pride go hand in hand. God opposes the proud which brings about negative consequences. There are 2 consequences in this passage that accompany flirting; scabs and bare foreheads (which is an idiom for exposed private parts). Flirting brings about pain, shame, and humiliation. Is this the kind of future that you want? Most young women desire a happy family with their husbands and children and that will not come about when you are a flirt. The final passage comes from Proverbs 7 where Solomon addresses the men on the importance of avoiding a flirtatious woman. She is called an adulteress. She flatters with her words. She is on the hunt. She is cunning. She is loud and rebellious. She takes the initiative in relationships instead of waiting on the man. A flirt is synonymous with an immoral person in the eyes of God. She seduces with her smells, with flattering words, and beautiful eyes. The man who falls for her flirtatious ways is naive. A flirt will lead you down the path to death and destruction. There will be no happiness in the end, neither for the woman nor the man. The naive man becomes a victim. Are you a flirtatious girl? As a male, do you fall for the seductive ways of a flirtatious woman?
Other than the advice on avoiding a flirtatious woman, there is only one passage that directly address men in the area of flirting. The passage is from Paul and he answers a question posed to him by one of the believers in the Corinthian church. Here is what he says.
The word “touch” here literally means “to start a fire” in the original Greek. Flirting starts a fire and can be done in many forms. Women are usually the ones who flirt through looks and words while men usually flirt with touches (massages, play fighting, etc.). This starts a fire that cannot be put out while the participants are not married. It is to be avoided.
II. Flirting causes sexual passions to be lit leading to stumbling in sin. God speaks of those who cause others to stumble and here is what He says.
Do you want to be the one who causes others to stumble? Maybe you say that you can control your passions but what about the other person? What about as a believer, do you want to discredit the ministry of the Lord on account of your childish flirting? Here is what God has to say.
Flirting is offensive to God and to the people who are being led on by this pagan practice.
III. God gives practical advice to us on how to avoid falling into the trap of flirting, which leads to sexual immorality and all of its negative consequences.
Know that the enemy is on the prowl, just waiting for you to relax. That is why you must be sober at all times, ready and alert. Never put your guard down. Just one simple flirt is all that the enemy is waiting for.
One flirt is all it takes to give the enemy an opportunity and a foothold. If you give him an inch then he will take a mile. Always remember that. Finally, James speaks of how to avoid the dangers of the enemy (flirting).
Submit to the teachings of God in the area of flirting and the enemy will flee from you.
Where do you stand on the topic of flirting? Do you indulge in this deadly practice? Are you enticed by a flirt? May the Lord help us obey Him.