I write this article as a rebuttal to a terrible article that I stumbled on when I was searching the net for some stats. The author, who claims to be a single woman, gives eight reasons why people should have pre-marital sex. She jokingly challenges people to travel down a slippery, sloping path that only leads to destruction and ultimately death if not changed. As a minister to young adults, I have seen my share of lives destroyed by immorality, specifically sexual immorality and for someone to have the nerve to challenge people to try something that will destroy them appalls me. I hope this article will help others understand how ridiculous a claim that encourages people to pre-marital sex is.
“Reason #1 to Have Premarital Sex: Everyone’s Doing It”
(The author suggests that there is a study which shows that 9 out of 10 Americans have tried sex before marriage, and that people used to marry younger so it is much more difficult to abstain in today’s world). A study that suggests 9 out of 10 is way too biased to be correct; you know that 9 out of 10 means 90% right? What percentage of the population was questioned? How were the questions asked etc.? The whole argument about people marrying younger is a brain-washing technique that seems to be working well, at least on some. People are not animals, they do have some self-control. By the way, the old cliché, “if everyone else were jumping off a cliff would you jump too?” I think that it applies very well here.
”Reason #2 to Have Premarital Sex: People Are Marrying Later”
(The author’s argument is that people are marrying later and cannot wait or practice self-control).People have self-control and can live normally without sex until marriage. If your mother were born in the 20th century then 16 is quite young, especially during the later 50 years. Secondly, a person will not die from not having sex because the body performs perfectly normal in the absence of sex. Again you have fallen for the influencing yet incorrect teachings of the time by people who have an agenda and who do not care about presenting the facts as they are. If you do not have self-control then what separates you from an animal; one that lives purely on instinct? Self-control is a gift that God will freely give to anyone who will come to Him in repentance and faith. His Word says this, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23)
”Reason #3 to Have Premarital Sex: Test Drive”
(The author’s argument is that you would not buy a car without a test drive or a pair of pants without trying them first). A marital partner is a little more valuable than a car or a pair of pants. Sex does not make marriage work; it is the icing on the cake if the marriage is functioning correctly. Sex in itself is not fulfilling because God created it to be part of a healthy marriage where the partners are committed to each other. I have seen many married couples who were beautiful people, having “great” sex lives for a while but because their entire relationship was based on sex, once the feelings wore off then the relationship fell apart. When the relationship is built up leading into a great sex life then it works and lasts but when everything is based on “chemistry” better called “lust” then like lust, it never brings satisfaction.
“Reason #4 to Have Premarital Sex: “Where’d You Learn How to Do That?””
(The author’s argument is that in order to be a good lover then you need to practice on other people before you find the right one). I do not want to think that my wife learned sexual things from other men besides me. I am glad that she was a virgin when we got married and that I was too so that we learned together. We never have to worry about jealousy because we know each other only and things get better every day!!! Why not learn and explore together as husband and wife? When you marry as a virgin then you have something to offer to your partner that no one else will ever get to experience yet if you are not a virgin then what special thing do you to offer to your spouse?
“Reason #5 to Have Premarital Sex: It Hurts the First Time”
(The author’s argument is that sex is painful the fist time so experience it with someone who you do not care about and then you can enjoy your wedding night more). If sex is painful the first time then why not experience it with someone who is loving, caring, and committed to you instead of experiencing it with someone who is not committed to you. You will never forget the time when you offer your virginity to your spouse on your wedding night but yet I know of so many who would love to forget the terrible night when they threw their virginity away. It does not have to be that way if people would view virginity as a gift from God to be given to their spouse on their wedding night. Why not use the rest of your life together as a married couple as a time to explore and become a great lover?
“Reason #6 to Have Premarital Sex: Where Does the Gay Population Fit In? Huh?”
First of all a person’s sexuality was chosen for him/her the minute that the sexual organs formed and a girl or boy was born. The doctor never says, “congratulations, it’s a homosexual” he says, “congratulations, it’s a boy/girl”. Sex was created by God for marriage between a man and his wife, period! One can choose to become a homosexual but there are consequences to that which are terrible. I have written another article on this subject and if needed. I can post it as well.
”Reason #7 to Have Premarital Sex: What About Divorcees?”
First of all marriage is to be permanent and divorce should never be mentioned in a family. If this piece of advice were followed then your question would be irrelevant.
“Reason #8 Life is too short to take too seriously.”
Life is too precious not to take seriously and those who do not take life seriously do not appreciate it and see it as being valuable. Shedding light on the way things are in not being preachy but shedding light, and those who love the darkness always hate the light and either run away from it or try to deny it. I hope that you will change your views so that you can truly have a marriage without regrets as I have and many others as well. If you continue like you are then I can assure you that you will not find happiness. I know it is tough news but that is the way it is. There is hope for you in Jesus Christ and I pray that you find it before it gets any worse.