I am currently teaching a class on marriage at our church. I have been teaching through the great study “Marriage without Regrets” produced by Precept Ministries. We have walked through the first 9 lessons and have finally arrived to lesson 10 which is about the permanence of marriage. As I was preparing I was so excited to be able to answer the question that I had (the title of this post). I would like to share a few points with you from the Scriptures on why God hates divorce so much.
I. What God has joined together let no man separate!
And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE, and said, ‘FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH ‘? “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”
God is the One who created the institution of marriage. Jesus quoted from Genesis 2, the story of creation, to reveal that God’s plan from the beginning was marriage. The word joined literally means “glued or cemented” together. Once two things are cemented together they become one and they cannot be separated without being broken. Since God is the One who cemented them together it is offensive to Him for anyone to separate His joining, especially the two who are joined together. Many times divorce comes from within instead of outside (like immorality).
II. Children become innocent victims because of divorce.
Since we live in such a self-centered society it is easy for us to forget about the real victims of our actions. We are so focused on pleasing ourselves that we miss the suffering all around us. The divorce rate excelled in the 1970’s and society has documented the results of this epidemic. Children of divorced families have been studied for over 30 years now and here are some striking results. These are compiled stats so if you want sources feel free to ask.
- Children of divorced parents are more likely to have academic problems. I hear over and over in the news today that our educational system is the problem yet I would argue that lack of learning comes as a result of divorce and single parents which permeates our society. Since we live in times where everyone is a victim it is easy to blame someone or something else for our problems other than ourselves. We brought this problem on ourselves by promoting divorce for so many years.
- Children of divorced families are more likely to have problems with authorities and be more aggressive than children of non divorced families.
- There is lower self-esteem and depression among children of divorce as well as a higher interest in illegal drugs and premarital sexual activity.
We are creating a society of broken people because we think that we know better than God and divorce is not so bad. The problem is that the children have to suffer for the selfishness of the parents. No wonder God says in His Word, “”For I hate divorce,” says the LORD, the God of Israel,”. There are many victims in its wake.
III. Divorce distorts our understanding of Christ’s love for His bride, the Church.
This is the primary reason why God hates divorce. He is true love and once He joins with someone then He will never separate. God entered into Covenant with Israel and although she left Him through her disobedience He never left her. We as Christians, are joined to Christ through repentance and faith so once we have been joined there is no separation. Now the union that we have with Christ is spiritual so you cannot physically see it but God has devised a plan to demonstrate what this relationship looks like. I am talking about marriage. The Apostle Paul explains this “mystery” in his epistle to the Ephesians when he says,
“FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.”
The close, personal relationship that a husband has with his wife is a visible example of a spiritual reality. When man and wife divorce then the picture of Christ is distorted because He will never leave His bride the church (Christians). So when we divorce we misrepresent God to the world around us, those who may never have seen God through the Bible get a distorted picture of who He is.
As you can see there is nothing good that comes out of divorce. Divorce is not the last option. It should not even be mentioned. What saddens me is the fact that many “Christians” divorce left and right these days without any remorse. God speaks on this subject and shares how we can avoid divorce. In the same chapter where He says that He “hates divorce” God also says the following, “”But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit.” The “so” that is mentioned here is dealing treacherously with spouses which leads to divorce. The key to a victorious marriage is not self help seminars. The key to victory is to have the Spirit of God, to be a follower of Jesus Christ, born again to a new life. If that has never happened to you then you can take this moment to repent (turn away from) of your sins and choose to be an obedient follower of Jesus Christ. Get a Bible and begin to study systematically and apply what you learn. May God help you have a marriage without regrets.