We hear more and more discussions these days about stopping domestic violence. There are many, many campaigns out there that want to “educate” people on the problem of domestic violence and how to stop it. The discussion is very similar to AIDS awareness discussions. They speak of the problem and offer solutions but never address the root of the problem. If you know anything about medicine then you know that if you just treat the symptoms and never get to the root of the problem then the person will never be cured, just becomes dependent on the meds that treat the symptoms. I have written on the subject of cohabitation and you can read it here.
If you have paid attention to the news over this past week then you have probably heard about a professional football player named Jovan Belcher. He murdered his live in girl friend and then committed suicide at the football field, in front of a couple of his coaches. Liberals are using this as a way to try and legislate gun laws. The old tactic, “It is not people who shoot and murder other people. It is the gun’s fault.”. This line of logic is closely related to “it is not the person lifting the fork to his face that makes him fat, it is the fork’s fault.”. I would like to point to something that is being overlooked in the media, not gun’s killing people, not domestic violence but instead the root of the problem, cohabitation. Living together before marriage or living together like a married couple is wrong according to the Bible because if you have sex outside of marriage then you practice fornication. Many claim not to believe in the Bible and they then say that this does not apply to them so they can live together without any consequences. The stats do not agree with that line of reasoning. The stats actually confirm what the Bible teaches, that when a man cohabitates with a woman, he does not honor her or care enough for her to give her his name and lifetime commitment. To put it another way, he does not respect her as a person, he just wants her in a sexual way. We see this in the fact that men who cohabitate are more likely to abuse their partners physically. Belcher’s case just proves that point. If you want to see the data on domestic violence and cohabitation, check out this article. If we try to combat domestic violence and do not attack the root of the problem, cohabitation, then we are fighting a losing battle. It is like combating AIDS while overlooking sex outside of marriage and homosexuality. It is a losing battle. The same logic can be applied to breast cancer among women and abortion. There is a clear link between the two yet most who want to fight breast cancer want to keep abortion legal.
What is the hope for those who currently cohabitate or have cohabitated in the past?
It is the same hope that has always existed for mankind in this fallen world, faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.
9 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God ? Do not be deceived ; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, 10 nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God. (I Corinthians 6:9-11)
The members of the church in Corinth were at one time fornicators. Some of them probably lived together without being married. Just getting married does not resolve the problem. The solution is to believe in Christ by repenting of your sins and accepting Christ as the Lord of your life. If Jesus is the Lord of your life then you will not practice fornication. The proof is in the pudding as we say. If you live in fornication which cohabitation falls under that umbrella, then Jesus Christ is not your Lord. I really believe that if these two individuals were living in a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ, making Him the Lord of their lives then they would have been happily married and this tragedy would have been avoided. There would be one less domestic violence case on the books. If people have Christ as their Lord and do not practice cohabitation then the number domestic violence cases would drop significantly. May the Lord help us attack the root of the problem and end domestic violence.